Playground Yoga

MO:
What makes up your life right now?
For me, it´s work, work, work and then: ROBIN, then more work, some P time, work and this afternoon yoga.
Phew!
So happy to be able to sneak away with P to join wonderful Camilla in her 90min yoga class tonight at Gymnasium Sisjön.

My son in a TRANCE. I´ve heard it´s a quite common side effect on these swings...

My hair SUCKS right now, while I´m waiting for it to grow to shoulder level.
But except from the "me, me, me", here´s:
Hollywood yoga teacher to the stars and lovely gal Camilla Bergström with yummy & fabulous Christine Myrberg.

Finally, it's happened to me...

MO:
It´s the start of a brilliant song from the 90s, but it also sums up my feelings of greatness when I finally hit the send button to the electronic application form for the supposedly HUGE queue to the daycare centers in Linnéstaden...

I´ve spent most of today researching and calling different dagis, booking meetings and chasing people down the street to ask them questions about particular facilities. Phew!

Well, now it´s done. The application form is with the council and I will spend the next 3-4 weeks visiting my different choices. Thankfully, you have the possibility to change the order of your choices until the day they offer you a space.

This morning was spent in the spirit of adulthood:

Arena Gothenburg´s breakfast meeting with Bok- & Bibliotekmässans CEO, Anna Falck.
Interesting and talented woman.

And then the rest of the day was spent searching for THE daycare center and watching caterpillars...

Wheeeeeyyy, my life is glam sometimes! ;)

Kick my ASS

MO:

What am I doing differently this autumn?
I´m much more stressed and flustered than I usually am at this time of year.
It´s not the work. I´m used to a very heavy and hectic workload. And it´s not the travelling. My God, during the years when I travelled the most, I did over 150 days of travel - in 1 year!

It MUST be the combination of: Work - New HUGE projects - and being a mother.
Wheeey, I´m finally getting a first hand experience of the working mother-stress syndrome.

Right now on my to-do-list:

* Finding a dagis (daycare). Finding THE RIGHT dagis to apply for. I´m alreay late. I would like Robin to start in January. The most popular dagis are applied for whilst baby is in the womb. Hello? I got a LIFE!

* Finding the time to apply for Russian Visa. Tuesday morning booked for this tedious task. Check.

* Booking classes for an AMAZING friend and world famous dance-/fitness presenter who will be in town in October. I´ve started to get ball(s) in rolling, but need to settle a few details first.
You want to book this STAR to your facility, I promise, cause she´s SMOKIN´HOT!

* Finalize legal papers for MOJO. This seems to be a task that just goes ONandONandONandON, a bit like those nightmares where you run and run and run and you don´t get anywhere. (AND you´re naked....)

* Picking up keys for my new Personal Training-collaborations. I´ll be taking clients to two different places depending on what they require. I picked up one of the two sets of keys today. After I panicked and freaked out for about half a lifetime because I had forgotten that I was doing just that. Not.Good.Because.I.NORMALLY.don´t.forget.things.

Lucky my spinning class tonight didn´t just kick the members´ tiny asses. It kicked mine too - and right now, that´s just what I need - endorphins and some adrenalin to get me back into the groove of things.

A bit like amphetamines supposedly have calming effects on ADHD-sufferers.

Which is just bulls**t, give them proper food, no sugar and lots of Omega3 instead, poor kids.

Over and out.

The Crazy One

MO:
I´m exhausted.
Robin has reached the stage where NOTHING is out of reach, sitting still is NEVER an option and voicing his opinion LOUD and CLEAR is obviously his first stage of assertiveness...
Tried to have a quick meeting with darling JOJO, discussing her damaged foot and this coming weekend. Turned out we forgot half the stuff we were meant to cover, much due to a hyper active and bored 1-year old...
A big shout out to gorgeous blog reader Anna, who stopped by to say hello!
Fantastic tattoos, beautiful girl!

Added at 22.50 (because I´m still that MAD!)

MO:

"...Andra måste ta sig igenom månader av tårar, blödande bröstvårtor, tillägg och flera timmar långa amningssessioner, innan amningen funkar som den ska.
Men när det väl lossnar är det ofta värt varenda tår och tandagnisslan. Det är bara att inse att amning ofta handlar om att inte ge upp. Om att tro på sig själv. Och på sin förmåga att ge sitt barn det allra bästa."

Jo, tjena.
Det är lätt att förstå att den här ledaren är skriven av någon som inte har en ANING om hur det är när amningen INTE fungerar.

När du sitter där och gråter så hela kroppen skakar, riktigt fulgråter med ansiktet ihopskrynklat och sammandraget, med snoret hängandes under nästippen för att i nästa stund skrika rakt ut i förtvivlan och smärta i ett vrål som förvrider ditt ansikte och skrämmer vettet ur ditt hungriga barn som du för mot din såriga, blodiga bröstvårta och när smärtar skär genom ditt bröst och din kropp som tusen trubbiga rakblad och får dig att skaka och tänka "Gode Gud, när kommer detta ta SLUT?!", samtidigt som du HATAR dig själv för att du tror att du inte ger ditt barn det han behöver mest, näring och närhet, för det är ju det alla har talat om för dig: hur viktigt det är för barnets BÄSTA och barnets HÄLSA att du ger honom av mjölken som din kropp har producerat för INGET alternativ till detta är ju gott nog.... är det då, just i det ögonblicket som det "bara är att inse att amning ofta handlar om att inte ge upp" ?

Aaaaargggghhhhhh!!!!!

MO:
The leading subject in today´s GP was breastfeeding. You can read the full article here.
I was SO, SO MAD after having read it that my hands were shaking.
I have read the study that the journalist is referring to.
It does NOT investigate the effects of breastfeeding as a singled out phenomenon, but as one out of three "lifestyle"-factors. The other two are: smoking and living in a damp environment.
It does NOT show that breastfeeding on its own makes any difference to whether you get asthma before the age of 8. It does show that babies who were breastfed AND lived in a smoking free home, that did not suffer from dampness ran a slightly lower risk of having asthma. Hello?
Like one reader mentions in the comment field, there has not been any proof of a positive linkage between breastfeeding and not developing asthma in a large number of studies (with more subjects than in the BAMSE-study), but there has been strong linkage between growing up with smokers and becoming asthmatic.
What really freakin´upset me the most was the tone of the article, the "Breastmilk is Best" headline and the "wonderful": "Just understand that breastfeeding is all about not giving up".
WHAT?!
Oh, just like being overweight is just about not giving up, you mean?

It is hard enough being a new mother.
It is hard enough making the right choices - for you and your baby.
Besserwissers like said journalist should not be allowed to increase the pressure, especially when all "scientific data" is completely taken out of its context.

Added at 22.50pm (because I´m still that MAD):

"...Andra måste ta sig igenom månader av tårar, blödande bröstvårtor, tillägg och flera timmar långa amningssessioner, innan amningen funkar som den ska.
Men när det väl lossnar är det ofta värt varenda tår och tandagnisslan. Det är bara att inse att amning ofta handlar om att inte ge upp. Om att tro på sig själv. Och på sin förmåga att ge sitt barn det allra bästa."

Jo, tjena.
Det är lätt att förstå att den här ledaren är skriven av någon som inte har en ANING om hur det är när amningen INTE fungerar.

När du sitter där och gråter så hela kroppen skakar, riktigt fulgråter med ansiktet ihopskrynklat och sammandraget, med snoret hängandes under nästippen för att i nästa stund skrika rakt ut i förtvivlan och smärta i ett vrål som förvrider ditt ansikte och skrämmer vettet ur ditt hungriga barn som du för mot din såriga, blodiga bröstvårta och när smärtar skär genom ditt bröst och din kropp som tusen trubbiga rakblad och får dig att skaka och tänka "Gode Gud, när kommer detta ta SLUT?!", samtidigt som du HATAR dig själv för att du tror att du inte ger ditt barn det han behöver mest, näring och närhet, för det är ju det alla har talat om för dig: hur viktigt det är för barnets BÄSTA och barnets HÄLSA att du ger honom av mjölken som din kropp har producerat för INGET alternativ till detta är ju gott nog.... är det då, just i det ögonblicket som det "bara är att inse att amning ofta handlar om att inte ge upp" ?

Morfin & Bricanyl

MO:

1 year ago I had just been knocked out at the hospital.

I was given a strong cocktail of Morfin and Bricanyl to help my body recover after 12h of food poisoning AND contractions...

After months of waiting the big day had finally arrived. The BIRTH.

I remember the heat wave we had in Gothenburg that week.

I had already been plunging into the Swedish sea on more occasions than I could recall - and I´m normally one of those people who don´t bathe unless it´s +25 degrees - in the water.

I looked very much like a stranded whale in the end. +24kg on my small frame. I hated it.

This photograph is taken 1 week(!) before delivery, can you believe it???

On the day of the delivery, just hours before the big occasion, I looked like this:

Varberg 2009-07-01

Ohhh, the face of a fed up woman!

Tomorrow I´m the mother of a 1-year old son. Where did time go???

Time flies and the love just gets stronger. Amazing.

Shoe Fetish

MO:
Who?
Me???
Nooooooooo...

"What do you mean, What am I doing???"

"Mummy, mummy, it´s MUCH better like this, I promise!"

- Blinged from my iPhone

Blackmail, preparations and new pants

MO:

My day in pictures:

Beautiful, beautiful spring has reached Järntorget

New outifit.

T-shirt Loft and pants Maison Scotch.

Love them or hate them.

This is definitely an "either - or" pant.

They are dead comfy anyway.

When my husband sees me wearing trousers like this, he can´t help himself, but always goes:

"Dhooo-dho-dho-dho..dho-dho..dho-dho...Can´t touch this...

"Dhooo-dho-dho-dho..dho-dho..dho-dho...Hammer time!"

- Blingblinged from my iPhone

Pea for brains

MO:
That's what happens with a head full of pollen...
Thanks to Mango who lifted my spirit sky high as he joined my 3 classes tonight!

I managed to leave home without both this:

...my music!...and this:

...my clothes!!!

Wearing an "emergency" outfit and playing an old class I found in the car, it all worked out in the end.

What will become of me?

Will I become one of those parents who forgets their child in the supermarket next??

-Blinged from my iPhone

Amazing

MO:
What an amazing day it's been.
Little guy got me up at 7am, so by 10.00 I had already done my 7k run. Rest of the day was spent shopping for a new couch (came back without couch but with new kitchen chairs) and elk bbq-ing in the country.
Had to look for a disappeared leather jacket in the attic. Didn't find said jacket, but realized I need to arrange a garage sale b4 the roof of my parents house gives in...
So.much.stuff.
From 1980-1999. Clothes, records, photos, shoes, diaries, bags, etc etc....

Memoribillia...




- blingblinged from my iPhone

Chaos

MO:

After the toughest night so far in "Mum-hood", Robin looks like a "prickig korv" today.

He woke up with an even worse rash than yesterday.

Stressed out by his itching and crying I forgot I had put 2 tortillas in the toaster. Not a place for tortillas anyway, but there you go....

...and managed to set off the fire alarm, when said tortillas literally went up in smoke.

Our fire alarm goes directly to the fire station.

Let´s just say that the alarm is REALLY loud. Just like a fire alarm should be.

Robin JUMPS out of his skin, if he was crying before, that was NOTHING compared to now.

It took me a while to throw out the toaster through the kitchen window, start opening windows around the apartment and figure out how to de-activate the alarm.

...answering the call from the emergency center, I sheepishly had to explain that I´d burnt "some food" in the kitchen.

And it´s not even 11am yet.

This is one of the thousands of reasons why I´m banned in the kitchen...

- Blingblonged from my iPhone

How life has changed since I became a mother

MO:

How has my life changed since I became a mother?

Well, how has it not changed?

Robin is 10 months next week and here follows a short summary:

* Yes. I have become less selfish. Suddenly somebody else is calling the shots.

* I appreciate private time more. Time being a mum. Time for training. Time alone with P and time together with my friends.

* I prioritize differently at work.

The things I do and say yes to, should bring me closer to my 5-year work goal. If it doesn´t, it will be fazed out, starting this autumn.

* I have more understanding and less understanding for other parents. More understanding: how it´s a puzzle most of the time to get things done. How not sleeping can get you to act all weird. How having a little one can be a very viable excuse not to be able to do things as spontaniously as before. Less understanding: how you can let your kids behave exactly as they want, where they want. I will never let that happen. If Robin starts screaming uncontrollably in a café or a shop, we will leave. Full stop. How having a kid is an excuse to stop training. Don´t get me started. There are enough gyms with kindergardens and most simple of all: running with the pram. Enough said.

* Earlier, when I was convinced I wouldn´t want any children, I looked everywhere for a role model: A normal, outgoing, well-spoken, succesful woman (or preferably several women) who lived without children by choice, and this is important! -not because they couldn´t have children /didn´t have a partner/ didn´t have the right partner/ were in a same sex relationship, etc etc.

I didn´t really find one. If you´re out there you need to come out of the woodworks.

Even when I was at my most adamant that I was not going to reproduce - ever - I still had this nagging feeling, "But I don´t want to turn out like the childless (by choice) women I´ve met, either..." What was it I reacted so strongly against in these women? It´s hard to nail it down to specifics, but generally, a feeling of immature selfishness - a Peter Pan syndrome, if you´d like. Something I could vaguely recognize in myself in certain situations. It revolted me and was definitely not something that I wanted to grow or nurture in my personality. Have I lost it now? I think so. Commitment doesn´t scare me anymore. In a sense, having the full responsibility for the life of another human being has made me grow up - and I like it.

* The LOVE. The unconditional love that you hear about, read about and you think:

"Ok, I´m ready so hit me with it"

And then, when it does, it´s like a cargo train, it´s like a hurricane, it´s like being swallowed by a black hole and spun around and around and around....and it scares you, inspires you, drives you, fills you up and just keeps growing, day by day, month after month, and I´m certain, year after year...

The love, the light, Mr. R.

22 April 2010

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Full speed ahead

MO:

2(!) teeth in 3 days?!

Where will this end???

Puberty by the end of the week?

I was joking a couple of days ago, saying that Robin will be the only toothless 18-year old...

Guess who´s laughing at me now...



- blingblinged from my iPhone

Bloody serious business

MO:

Besides worrying about the state of my palms, this is how I fly these days:

Please note my heart rate monitor in midst of all the chaos...

I´ve started Robin on potty training! He´s only 8 1/2months, but why not start now? My role model is a friend of a friend. She lives in Paris, has 4(!)kids - and all 4 kids were potty trained by the age of 1!!! RESPECT. :)

...one more thing...

If you are a regular MOJO-reader, do your thing and put your vote on the right number...

Let the most damaged (wo)man win!

Say no more.

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Sleepless in Gothenburg

MO:

I finally know what it´s like to be so tired that stars appear out of nowhere in the middle of the day.
3 nights without sleep and a sick baby made sure of that.
Poor, poor Robin has been coughing his way through Friday, Saturday and Sunday night with about a ton of mucus stuck in his airways.
I took him to the doctor´s today, just to make sure he hasn´t got pneumonia. Luckily he didn´t.
Tonight I´m hitting the sack before 21.30 - shattered and with tons of things not done.
There´s really no point. Anything I would do right now, would have to be double checked in the morning anyway.
Zzzzz...
Tomorrow will be a better day.

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She works hard for the money

MO:

Oh. I.am.tired.
Drove out to the country to pick mum up after my classes. She´s babysitting Robin tomorrow when JO and I travel to Linköping for a MOJO Yoga presentation. An important one too.

20 centers will be represented (WHOOOPA!) and lovely Anna-Lena from Fitness Magazine will join the class.

Early night tonight, getting up at 5am to leave at 6am. Back in the city at 5.30pm.

Wish us luck! :)

Beware - Children Ahead

MO:
I think I´m fairly fit and strong.
Yesterday when I´d just woken up, I turned to lift Robin from the middle of the bed up in the air and my back just went. P fixed it last night, but this evening I could feel it nagging the whole way through my Kettlebell-class.
Robin is around 10kg now and he´s getting heavier for each day. HOW does mothers who don´t train DO IT???

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I´m training because...

MO:
Oh. What a day.
Lucky I had a meeting with darling JO at lunch, which made my day. Other than that,I´ve had a 6months old baby with a runny nose, a slight fever and a crying face attached to my body since 12.30pm, like a fifth limb.

When P came home from work around 18.30pm, I was soooo ready to get out of the house.

Before I became a mum I never ran a lot in the evenings, actually hardly ever, but now...oh, now it could easily become a habit.
-7 degrees, but who´s counting? An easy, easy run around 75% of MHR - and only for 30min. Just what the doctor ordered for a tired, non-functional brain and a wasted back from carrying around 10 very alive kg in my arms all day.

I recieved an email from Sportlife today, concerning their Inspirational Day in March. One of the questions they want the presenters to answer was: "I´m training because...."
Easy piecy answer today, I tell you: I´m training because I want to become an ever better mother-mentally, physically and spiritually.

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You are trouble, baby

MO:
Again, thanks to everyone who made it to yoga this morning... It´s rare that we get to see a few decimeters of snow in Gothenburg, so when it happens the city normally comes to a standstill.
I must say it´s pretty beautiful outside right now, though. -12 and powder snow.

We went to the movies this afternoon and watched "Luftslottet som sprängdes". Entertaining and well casted. Especially Noomi Rapace, who carries the trilogy on her narrow shoulders.

Robin is still not happy to be left with babysitters. Poor grandma & grandpa, once again they had a SCREAMING grandchild for about 2 1/2h... What to do and when will it stop? I feel sorry for mum & dad. They feel sorry for Robin, but he is not suffering. He´s just pissed off his parents are not there. Where could he have got that temper and lack of patience? Hm. Nobody knows. Shush now.

Södra Larmgatan, wearing its winter outfit.

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