2010/05/18

Did We offend you?!

Just making SURE that MOJO DIDN'T!!!!

Everybody is talking about THE HORN on the streets these days and people have been attacking me so I thought I should make it clear once and for all:

It's MOJO NOT HORN!!!

Have NO IDEA what I'm talking about? Perhaps you've been locked up in a closet tha last month - We'll here's part of the discussion:




"this is for all of us who are sick and tired of people who are not metal who use metal’s most recognized symbol: THE HORNS.



THE HORNS were brought into metal by the metal god himself, RONNIE JAMES DIO. It was initially the mano cornuto, the italian hand gesture for either protecting from or giving of the evil eye. His grandmother is the one who used the sign around him the most, therefore DIO gives his grandmother credit for impressing the horns upon him.

DIO began using them while touring with BLACK SABBATH during the HEAVEN AND HELL tour. He would only use them, however, to accentuate a particularly dark moment, or particularly metallic moment during the show. DIO doesn’t just sit there and flip the horns, the moment must deserve the horns.

THE HORNS were NOT meant to be used at an ashlee simpson or britney spears concert. They are not meant to be used at a n’sync concert. They are ESPECIALLY not meant to be used by panic at the disco, fallout boy, my chemical romance, etc. i.e., if you are not metal, DO NOT USE THE HORNS.

To give you an idea, and this is JUST FOR COMPARISON’S SAKE, the horns are to metalheads as the n word is to black guys. unless you are one of us, DO NOT USE IT. it was only meant for metalheads, not jack johnson or usher. Or, to quote South Park (somewhere in the show): a white guy who uses the n word will never understand how offensive and disgusting it is to a black guy. likewise, a non-metalhead using the horns will never know how truly lame and uncool it is.

it is UNACCEPTABLE to use them for reasons un-metal. i dont care how fucking happy you are that your macaroni is done, DO NOT USE THE HORNS. i dont care if you’re in a drunken stupor and want to flip them when your picture is taken, DO NOT FLIP THE HORNS. i dont care if you make an ass of yourself and want to flip the horns to try and laugh it off, YOU DO NOT FLIP THE HORNS.

As a friend pointed out to me, THE HORNS are like the new LOL. people use them inappropriatley for situations uncalled for.

DO NOT EXTEND THE THUMB WHEN FLIPPING THE HORNS. that is sign language for, “i love you.” while i do love DIO, flippin the horns at DIO is more awesome than “i love you” any day of the week. see, DIO took the love out of the equation, and made it totally METAL. you look like an ass when you flip the horns with the thumb. please don’t disgrace us and just put your hand down, pussy.

on a related topic, DO NOT WEAR A METAL SHIRT IF YOU ARE NOT METAL. i don’t care if it’s “fashionable” to wear a shirt of a band you’ve never heard, never heard OF, and could kick the hell out of whatever you are listening to now, YOU DO NOT WEAR A METAL SHIRT IF YOU ARE NOT METAL. if the music you listen to is the same thing that 6th grade girls listen to, DO NOT WEAR A METAL SHIRT. if you flash gang signs more than you flash the horns, DO NOT WEAR A METAL SHIRT.

in any cases of either situation, please report them here, and we will do our best to DESTROY THE POSER.

(disclaimer: if you’re a longhorns fan, you can use them ONLY for longhorns events, and i mean ONLY for them. dont just sit on your ass and flip them cuz you feel like it. what does using the horns because you’re happy that you finished reading your magazine article at the same moment your laundry is done have to do with the the texas longhorns? NOTHING. dont use them.)

and NO, the texas longhorns DID NOT INVENT THE HORNS, they stole them from us.

Disclaimer: Yes, we know that metalheads were not the original ones to use the horns. there were several different societies that used the horns before us, like the italians, as mentioned before. but does average joe davematthewsbandfan use the horns thinking ‘i am giving/protecting against the evil eye’? NO. he thinks he’s using the symbol to say, ‘rock on.’ this in itself is untrue, since rock=/= metal. Metal is a descendent from rock, but it is not rock, just in the same way rock descended from blues, yet rock is not blues.

****THE VIDEO FOR “PARTY LIKE A ROCKSTAR” BY THE SHOP BOYZ HAS ALREADY BEEN BLACKLISTED AND CONDEMNED. WE KNOW ABOUT IT ALREADY.

To this group’s detractors: FUCK OFF. If you don’t get that fiery feeling in your guts when you hear those crunching riffs and those screaming vocals, you’ll never get it. So do us all a favor and go listen to your bullshit pop records. We don’t need you."The Horn




MOJO

U do see the COMPLETE difference Right?!!!



Lovely Day Jo :)

2 comments:

Littlenele said...

Oh my god, there are bigger problems then this. But I can see a resemblance between "the horns" and "apan mudra". I'm sure the mudra has been there longer :)

http://www.kymadrid.com/archivo/mudras/2_mudra_apan.gif

p3te* said...

Damn, I hate rules! I just wanna rock!